today is july 19th, its still hard but we get through each day,its bin almost 5months now, its goin so fast. its hard to explain how i feel unless youve been where i am right now, i remember lookin out of the living room window, a few days after you passed, everyone rushin, people laughin n talkin in the street, i remember wantin to go out their n scream at them, my moms gone n no one cares,i no it sounds dumb, i guess i just wanted the world to stop for a while so i could catch up but it never did, the world carried on, i guess it dosnt wait for anyone. i come to your place of rest every week, a good hours walk away but nothin will stop me gettin their, i sit n do your flowers,clean your stone,i talk openly out loud, bet i look stupid, it dosnt matter anymore i guess, i gave up carin.every time we go to see a medium, youve come through to us everytime, its hard,everythins hard,i see me,sally and lucy as 1 now, thats how it has to be, i keep goin for them n they keep strong 4 me, so far its workin.